When a child must keep the surname of an abusive parent?

A recent High Court case, XX v XX [2025] EWHC 2756 (Fam), has caused genuine concern among domestic abuse professionals.

The case involved a six-year-old girl whose father had been found, after a full fact-finding hearing, to have raped and coercively controlled her mother. Despite those very serious findings, the court refused the mother's request to change her daughter's surname.

What XX v XX shows about the gaps in protection

On appeal, Mr Justice Peel confirmed that decision. He said the judge in the lower court had considered the child's "identity" and "heritage" and that the decision fell within a range of reasonable outcomes. At the same time, the High Court recognised the ongoing risk to the mother by extending a non-molestation order for two further years and ordering the father to pay towards her legal costs.

For those of us working with survivors every day, this case highlights some of the gaps in how the family court balances safety, identity and the impact of trauma.

The impact of abuse on a child’s identity

A surname is not “just a name”.

For many survivors of domestic abuse, especially those who have experienced rape, coercive control or long-term manipulation, a surname can be a reminder of trauma.

For a child, being required to keep the surname of an abusive parent can affect:

• their sense of safety
• their emotional wellbeing
• their connection to the non-abusive parent
• how they understand their family identity

Even when protective orders are in place, the emotional effect of carrying an abuser’s name can be profound.

In XX v XX, there were two very different outcomes delivered at the same time:

• The High Court agreed the mother still needed protection and extended her non-molestation order.
• But the court refused to allow the child’s surname to be changed, meaning she must continue to carry her father’s name.

For many survivors and many practitioners, this feels like the system is sending mixed and confusing messages about harm and protection.

Why trauma-informed decision-making is essential

Although the court must follow the welfare checklist, this case shows how difficult it can be for the system to take trauma into account fully.

For example:

• Courts still place significant weight on concepts such as “heritage” and “continuity”.
• Emotional harm caused by a name linked to rape or coercive control is harder to measure and too often underestimated.
• Trauma-informed guidance from Cafcass is not consistently applied.

A modern, trauma-informed approach would give much greater weight to the impact of domestic abuse when deciding issues that affect a child’s identity, including their surname.

Why this case shows the need for clearer guidance

XX v XX highlights the need for clearer rules about what should happen when a parent has been found to have committed serious domestic abuse. Survivors and their children need decisions that truly reflect:

• the effects of coercive control
• the emotional harm caused by abusive relationships
• children’s psychological wellbeing and safety
• the long-term impact of identity linked to an abuser

Although this case is anonymised, its consequences are wide-reaching. It raises an important question: are the current laws and tests really protecting children living with the impact of domestic abuse?

How we support domestic abuse survivors

Our domestic abuse lawyers work daily with survivors, helping them understand their rights, protect their children and navigate complex court processes.

We work closely with local charities and support organisations, giving us a deep understanding of:

• how domestic abuse affects families emotionally and psychologically
• the barriers survivors face in the family court
• the need for clear, accessible legal advice
• the importance of long-term safety for both parent and child

We remain committed to supporting survivors, challenging outdated approaches and pushing for a family justice system that truly understands domestic abuse and its long-lasting effects.